Sex stores can get a bad rep. The common image of them is some shady business with paper on the windows, and inside, you would find old men creeping on the women stupid enough to enter. In reality, they are stores like any other, just with no kids allowed.
I ended up working in a sex store simply because I applied everywhere on Indeed. I’m a queer person, and that meets all the criteria to do the job (somehow). In my experience, most sex shop customers are women ages 25-40, likely because most of you people buy dildos online.
Lots of people fear judgement at sex stores (spoiler, people who see you in there are also in there), but I think they’re necessary if you want quality products. There are strange characters now and again, but given the nature of the store, there is a low tolerance for perving. Luckily, I’ve never had to kick anyone out; even the panty thieves have had discretion. I have been asked some strange questions, though. Getting great stories is a perk of the job.
Employees of sex shops know about our products and are willing to answer questions about them, but we are not doctors or therapists. However, PLEASE ASK QUESTIONS; we would rather you ask than get yourself hurt out there. We can at least give you the words to Google it. Here are some of the most common and weirdest questions for your reading pleasure.
Common Questions:
Do I need lube?
Almost always. Adding more lube is a great way to make sex more fun. If that is too much work, lubricated condoms are a great choice.
How do I last longer during sex?
Cock rings and a positive attitude. Good sex does not end after your dick goes soft.
Is this butt plug good?
I don’t know what you’re into, but I can tell you if people keep trying to return it (please don’t). If the base isn’t wider than the widest part of the plug, it will get lost in your ass. If you are an asshole, I will let you buy one of those for the irony.
I can’t get a boner, what do I do?
Go to your doctor. I promise they won’t judge you as much as I will. “Medications” sold in sex stores are vitamins.
Am I being weird asking questions?
If your clothes are on and you’re sober, you’re doing fantastic.
Weird Questions:
Have YOU tried this toy?
God, buy me a drink first. If you genuinely want my opinion, try asking “what do people think about this toy?” and I will happily tell you if it has positive reviews.
Can you help me unlock my cock cage?
No. Stop calling!
How do I make my girlfriend want sex?
Treat her better. Get some couples therapy. If you’re asking me, you are the problem.
How do I get rid of a sex doll?
*This article first appeared in The Muse’s Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll print edition, published September 2026.
Yes, this question is real. And the issue is fascinating. You don’t want your neighbours to think you’re getting rid of a body, but you need “Rachel” out of your apartment. The Barnes house dumpster could work, but imagine the video of first years finding it. If you’re insistent on selling it like the asker was (which I don’t agree with but I will let you live out your dreams), FetLife could be a place to do that.