Photo by Dollar Gill on Unsplash
We’ve all been there. You’re halfway to the chemistry building when you realize that you’re completely lost in the munnels, or you forgot to eat breakfast and need a quick bite to eat, but class is in ten minutes. These are the spectacular sorts of silly mistakes that any ordinary MUN member might make, but fret not! MUN’s council of wise wizards has compiled a list of the best tried-and-true spells that can save any student in a pinch. Read on, brave one. Who knows what sort of mystical, magical mischief you’ll get up to?
1. Velocitus Ovum
So you’re standing in line at the dining hall breakfast counter, and you’ve just asked for three eggs hard fried. In theory, you could wander off and chat while you wait, or you could find some other food, but class time is rapidly approaching and you need to eat NOW. Look no further than this egg-fryer-accelerating charm. They’ll have your eggs out hours before anyone else’s. Bon egg-petit.
2. Chemistboxus Momentum
This is a longer spell that many new students may find hard to memorize, or may wonder if they have use of it at all. Assuredly, Chemistboxus Momentum has a purpose. This clever charm was conjured for the purpose of making that one ancient elevator in the chemistry building work properly. You know the elevator. You’ll have to use it at some point.
3. Commonsius Shuttupp
Most effective in the designated quiet areas of the QEII library first floor, but may also be used (to less of an effect) on the second floor. This spell was designed by the tech support personnel in The Commons to silence up to fifty students at once when the noise gets a little overwhelming. This spell covers a wide area, so it can’t be used on an individual.
4. Randomus Lecterus
This particular spell is actually a failed attempt at a teleportation spell by a business student in the late semester of Fall 2021. The student’s intention was to create a spell to bring him directly to his classroom in the morning. However, he found himself in different active classrooms every time, including a graduate student archaeology lecture at Grenfell Campus. While this is highly effective at getting you away from your current location, faculty has determined that it takes roughly 547 tries to end up at the classroom you intend to go to. Might be easier to just walk.
5. Expecto Snowcancellation
Please don’t use this one unless you really, REALLY need to. Seriously. We’re not joking. We’re bringing it back into the MUN Book of Legal Spells, but only if you PROMISE not to overuse it. The last time a student overused this one, it was January 17th, 2020. Let’s just say it didn’t end well.