You know that one door. It’s the one you pass every day to class, clearly too small for a human to fit but too big to not be of some use. You always wonder where it goes or if they even use it anymore, and if they do, who uses it? What do they use it for?
After years of wondering since the construction of MUN’s beloved underground tunnel system, it seems we finally have some answers. A chemistry student (requested to remain anonymous) was stricken by scientific curiosity over the Thanksgiving break. So they decided to examine the door at around 2:00 A.M. with some friends, following a party at their residence.
“We weren’t really thinking about consequences,” the student reported. “We were just kind of bored and the night wasn’t over, and someone suggested we walk in the munnels. I didn’t think we’d meet the button lady,” said the students.
They did, in fact, meet the button lady. The student reported that, upon discovering that the door was wide enough for a human body to fit through, several others in the party dared them to crawl in. Just past the entrance, the student discovered a soft, glowing light and a long tunnel leading to another door. Urged by their friends, the student continued crawling and came through the other side to find, shockingly, another munnel.
This munnel, however, the student found to be quite different from the one they’d left their friends in. The walls were painted in cheerful yet soothing colours, the lighting was soft and inviting, and several signs explained which way to go in detail and in several languages.
According to the student, there was also a piping system on the far wall. These pipes, however, were labelled with signs that stated “ABSOLUTELY NO ASBESTOS” with a smiley-face symbol.
Shortly after entering, the student exited the tunnel and returned to their residence with their friends. They reported, however, that they may have forgotten to close the door, as they were under the influence of substances at the time. They may offer some explanation for the reports other students later filed to MUN’s Campus Enforcement Patrol. For example, some students claimed that they’d seen a friendly woman in the munnels, offering snacks to students and asking them to “come home and live with [their] real family.”
“She knew all my favorite foods,” said another student who claimed a sighting near the underground entrance to the Arts & Administration Building.
“She said that she was my Other Mother. If I followed her, she would show me the Other Dining Hall where they serve chicken tikka masala every week, and you can take anything back to your room, not just fruit and small dessert items.”
When we inquired further about the alleged interaction, the student added, “All she told me I had to do was sew buttons in my eyes, which was kind of messed up. But then she said that she had Bowater colors, so I told her I’d think about it.”
Following a safety briefing with Campus Enforcement and Patrol, Memorial University released an official statement on the sightings via the school’s Twitter page.
“Students are advised not to engage with the tall, slender, button-eyed woman in the munnels,” the university tweeted on Friday. “We have had reports that she steals souls, but are awaiting confirmation. Check MUN SAFE app regularly for updates.”
While most of what is known about the Other Mother’s presence at MUN is unclear and contradictory, it may be better to avoid the munnels and enjoy the fresh air. At least until someone vanquishes her in a battle of wits. As of right now, there have been no reports of students trapped in the Other Munnels.