So Richard Spencer (most famous for getting punched in the face on live TV) is having trouble finding a lawyer to defend him in a federal lawsuit which was filed against him and other leaders of the Unite the Right rally which took place in August in Charlottesville, Virginia. I thought this was hilarious – and really wanted to link to that video of him getting punched in the face again – so I figured I’d tell you all about it so we could all laugh at his pain together.

The alt-right shitlord claimed in a motion filed on tuesday (which he wrote himself) that the violence which erupted at the rally (which lead to dozens of injuries and the death of a counterprotestor) wasn’t his fault. He believes the blame falls squarely on anti-fascist who responded to the naked displays of white supremacy, as well as the police who he claims did too little to discourage the violence (weirdly enough, the other side have made the same claim).

No lawyer in Virginia will take Spencer’s case, he claims, not providing any details on his search for legal counsel and instead suggesting his lack of success was because lawyers did not want to be associated with him (weird right? He seems like such a charming guy…) Spencer goes on to argue that the lawsuit should be dismissed, complaining that the plaintiffs’ high-profile attorneys seek to financially cripple him and his fellow defendants with expensive depositions and discovery requests. Uhhhhh, welcome to the American Justice System bro?

“Spencer,” he wrote, referring to himself in the third person, “has searched for legal help and has not been able to find a lawyer in Virginia to take his case, despite the supposed but apparently illusory ethical obligation lawyers have to represent unpopular clients and to assure at least a semblance of a fair trial.” While the Sixth Amendment guarantees a criminal defendant’s right to an attorney, it does not apply to civil litigation (which Spencer would probably know if he wasn’t busy fantasizing about how cool it would be to meet Hitler instead of paying attention in high school civics class).

As you need any more proof of what a despicable piece of garbage this guy is, he even went ahead and compared himself to other famous hate-mongers in his closing arguments. In his desperation to find some sort of legal argument with which to defend his reprehensible words and actions (because, ya know, he can’t get a real lawyer to help him), Spencer invoked Snyder v. Phelps, the supreme court decision which protected the hateful speech of Westboro Baptist Church members and their right to picket military funerals. A little bit of free advice for you readers – if you’re invoking statutes which protect universally reviled figures of hatred and bigotry to defend yourself, you should probably re-evaluate your worldview.


Matt Pond

Photo by V@s